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I’ve created a new series for this page, featuring blogs developed and written by my very own team.  I hope they will help introduce you to the members of our Team who work daily on projects and issues we care deeply about.  I also hope you will take the time to not only read them, but respond to them.  Hearing your thoughts and ideas is a great way for us to connect to you and other Californians -- and important in learning how together we can make a difference in our communities and our state. 

"Operation Bigs" Provides Mentorship for Children Whose Parents Are Serving in Iraq

When one of Koa's teachers suggested the Big Brothers Big Sisters, Operation Bigs Program, serving military children in Camp Pendleton, I never in a million years thought it would have the impact that it has on him today. 

After all, he has a brother three years older, but they were both going through the same hardships.  Their dad had been deployed to Iraq and they were scared to death.  As military kids, they had seen the tragedy of September 11 in DC at the Pentagon, and all the issues with friends moving away because a parent died.

Koa and Nyko both are very proud that their dad is a Marine, but they were worried as any child would be that their dad wouldn't return home from war.  They didn't feel comfortable talking to me about it... after all, I was “just mom.”  So when the opportunity to become involved with the "Operation Bigs" program arose, we jumped on it.  Nyko's “Big Brother,” Wesley was always encouraging him to find other ways to solve conflicts instead of fighting and to resist the name calling and look beyond the problem.  Wesley then started to take Koa on as his “Little Brother” because Koa's past “Big Brothers” kept getting deployed.  Wesley showed both of my sons that there were others that cared about them and he constantly encouraged them to talk about how their dad's absence affected them as individuals and as a family.  The boys never felt any fear or skepticism about their “Big Brother” because as Koa puts it, "Marines are honorable and don't lie to each other!"  I was grateful because Wesley shared their fears so that I could talk to the boys about what was bothering them and help as much as I could. 

When the beginning of the school year started again, Nyko moved on to middle school and Koa stayed in elementary school.  The first thing Koa asked was if he was going to have a “Big Brother” again.  He was so looking forward to it.  When he met his new “Big Brother,” Chris, he said that Chris was "cool" because he doesn't treat him like a baby and he played games with him like Wesley did.  When I asked him how he felt about his “Big Brother,” Koa remarked that God gave him someone who understands him when dad was away.  Chris told Koa that his father Matt was a hero and Koa should be proud of his dad.  Koa said he is always proud of his dad.  When the hard questions came up, Chris took them head on and reminded Koa that no matter what happened, his dad loved him.  Chris was able to give Koa that little extra piece of assurance about his dad because after all, I was just mom and that was my job, but assurance coming from another Marine was stronger. 

The self esteem that Wesley and Chris gave to my boys during the hardest trials of their young lives has made a positive and remarkable impact on them.  It has given them the extra strength of knowing that despite this war, and where their dad goes, he loves them and there are others routing for them.

Erica Helsel